I Cannot Adult Today

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just an adolescent masquerading as an adult. Adolescents tend to be a little awkward, clueless to the expectations parents and society place on them. I can relate.

I feel like I should know these things: when to bring someone flowers, when to make dinner for someone, what to do when a friend suffers the loss of someone special or is sick or moves into a new house, or . . . or . . . or . . .

My friend made a cake for someone's birthday. My first thought was: is that the expectation? Should I make birthday cakes for all of my friends? Honestly, I barely remember to make a cake for my own family members, let alone a friend. My 11 year old got an ice cream date on his birthday and cupcakes from a shop for his birthday party.

Is there a class I missed in college? Maybe Social Interaction 101? Or How to Be an Adult 201? We moved around a lot when I was a kid so I don't remember ever being close to our neighbors. (I don't remember even talking to them, for that matter.) I was raised as a Chris-ter Catholic: we went to mass on Christmas and Easter plus a few other Sundays thrown in for good measure. Is that where I should've learned this? In church? Facebook hasn't helped matters. For the last 10 years I've only had to post a happy birthday message on someone's wall. Only recently has Facebook added sad faces I can click when someone shares something sad. That seems a little weak, though, even to me.

I don't even send out Christmas cards anymore. Everyone I know sees pictures of my family all year on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Why would they want a picture to keep?

When my husband and I rented our first house 18 years ago, a sweet 90-year-old lady pulled me aside after church and said, "The Care Committee would like to give you a pounding." I stared at her blankly trying to reconcile this great-grandma smiling up at me with the idea of a group of elderly women beating me to a pulp. All that came out of my mouth was, "Sounds nice."

The following Sunday evening, the entire church gathered in the Fellowship Hall. Every surface of several 8 foot tables was covered with pantry goods--flour, sugar, lard. (Yes, you read that right--lard.) There were pounds and pounds of it . . . get it? Pounds of supplies for a "pounding." (I think they may have incorrectly assumed I was some kind of baker.) So poundings are what you do for people when they move into their first house?

Recently, my neighbor had some news for me. "Did you see the funeral flowers on our street?" she asked.  This question contained individual words I'm familiar with, but I was clueless about what they meant as a whole. Did one of our neighbors bury someone in the backyard? The only funeral flowers I know of are the ones at a funeral home. Apparently, it's a tradition to hang a wreath of flowers on the door to signify a death in the family. Why did this need to be explained to me at the age of 42? Why have I never heard of this? Next question: how can I tell the difference between funeral flowers and a standard flower wreath?

Lest you think I'm a complete social idiot, I do know when someone gives you a gift, you are expected to write a thank you note. But, that's all I've got. I'm hopeless, aren't I?

I possess one social grace that just may excuse me from my cluelessness from time to time. I can pray. I know this is no small thing. The Bible tells us over and over to pray for each other. Rest assured, if you ask me to pray for you, consider it done. And even if you don't ask, when God brings you to mind, I will pray.

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭4:2‬ ‭(NLT) commands us, “Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart."

So I've got the praying thing covered. Still . . . Where do I pick up the social interaction instruction manual everyone else seems to operate out of? Can I search for it on Amazon? I certainly want to be a fully functioning adult.

Romans‬ ‭12:13‬ ‭(NLT) ‬encourages us, “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.”

‭‭I want to follow this verse, but how? So help me out here, folks. Please have mercy on a socially inept adolescent masquerading as an adult. What is your best advice for how to bless someone in the midst of the highs and lows of life?