LOL

In church yesterday, we watched the powerful testimony of Teranda Greene. We listened spellbound as she recounted learning of her husband's liver failure after only six months of marriage. God sustained him for eight years until he needed dialysis. The dialysis was only a temporary fix until he finally needed a kidney transplant. Teranda was a perfect match so she gave her husband her liver. He responded so well . . . but a year later, he developed a problem in his lungs.

It is at this gripping part of the testimony when my 11 year old said with frustration, "Oh, come on!" He just wanted the man to get better and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, Hunter's response caught me off guard and I laughed out loud (literally) . . . on the front row . . . sitting one seat away from my husband, the pastor of the church . . . causing him to laugh. Oh boy.

All I could think was what people must be thinking behind us. Teranda was pouring out her heart, telling us how her husband's death led to clinical depression and how God was with her. I don't think anyone heard Hunter's exclamation, but they most likely saw us laughing since we turned to look at each other in amusement. They must think we have no heart, no compassion, no couth.

I caught myself before I went all the way down the rabbit hole of self-involvement. Who cares?

How often am I so easily caught up in what I think others might think of what I did or said? A lot, if I'm honest.

Memorizing scripture is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can backfire in your face. I struggle at times to remember the verses I've learned when I'm just trying to practice them each week, but put me in a situation where I need some discipline and the verses come flying at me like ninja stars. This verse popped in my head: "Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant." Galatians 1:10 (NLT)

I admit that I want people to like me and think good things about me. My concern should only be for pleasing the Lord. When I get distracted by wanting to please others, I take my eyes off of God and doing the work He would have me to do.

So the next time I laugh at an inappropriate time (I am confident I will embarrass myself in some way in the very near future), I will try to keep myself from wondering what others might be thinking of me . . . and keep my attention focused on the Lord.